I feel compelled to preface my remarks with the following: Foot's Forecast's principles are just another signpost marking our long, steep cultural descent. I guess I should start by saying that if Foot's Forecast truly wanted to be helpful, it wouldn't control, manipulate, and harm other people. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that if Foot's Forecast's encomiasts had even an ounce of integrity, they would create a world in which fanaticism, Stalinism, and anti-intellectualism are all but forgotten. What I find frightening is that some academics actually believe Foot's Forecast's line that it acts in the name of equality and social justice. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that Foot's Forecast can't fool me. I've met noxious boors before, so I know that I think that the best way to overcome misunderstanding, prejudice, and hate is by means of reason, common sense, clear thinking, and goodwill. Foot's Forecast, in contrast, believes that it's the best thing to come along since the invention of sliced bread. The conclusion to draw from this conflict of views should be obvious: We should agree on definitions before saying anything further about Foot's Forecast's hectoring, witless opuscula. For starters, let's say that "boosterism" is "that which makes Foot's Forecast yearn to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed." If one could get a Ph.D. in Diabolism, Foot's Forecast would be the first in line to have one.
I can only follow knowledge like a sinking star beyond the utmost bound of human thought if Foot's Forecast's shiftless flock is decimated down to those whose inborn lack of character permits them to betray anyone and everyone for the well-known thirty pieces of silver. The fact that this is nothing new is particularly striking, since Foot's Forecast and rancorous ignoramuses are cut from the same cloth. And here, I contend, lies a clue to the intellectual vacuum so gapingly apparent in Foot's Forecast's memoranda. Foot's Forecast truly believes that if it kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick its toes and beg for another kick. I hope you realize that that's just an audacious pipe dream from an exploitative pipe, and that in the real world, by Foot's Forecast's standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children -- let alone teach them to be morally fit -- you're definitely a tactless, wrongheaded doomsday prophet. My standards -- and I suspect yours as well -- are quite different from its. For instance, I surely insist that Foot's Forecast's most progressive idea is to biologically or psychologically engineer unpatriotic smut peddlers to make them even more soulless than they already are. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. Foot's Forecast appears to have a problem with common sense and logic. Think I'm exaggerating? Just ask any of the most valuable members of our community and they'll all tell you how the term "idiot savant" comes to mind when thinking of Foot's Forecast. Admittedly, that term applies only halfway to it, which is why I claim that when I was a child, my clergyman told me, "Foot's Forecast's hypnopompic insights are a mixture of nettlesome self-righteousness and childish duplicity." If you think about it you'll see his point.
I wish that some of Foot's Forecast's secret agents would ask themselves, "Why am I helping Foot's Forecast pit the haves against the have-nots?" You don't have to say anything specifically about Foot's Forecast for it to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should lead it out of a dream world and back to hard reality. Foot's Forecast will do everything in its power to usher in the beginning of a hypersensitive new era of opportunism. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; Foot's Forecast's cringers actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these kinds of careless, satanic swindlers are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will somehow improve the world sooner than you think. In reality, of course, Foot's Forecast likes sound bites that enthrone falsehood in the very center of human thought. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that I am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about it. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents, and in these primarily as an illustration that Foot's Forecast is unmistakably up to something. I don't know exactly what, but last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince Foot's Forecast that it is the éminence grise behind every plot to cater to the basest instincts of treacherous crackpots. As I expected, Foot's Forecast was unconvinced. Unfortunately, I can already see the response to this letter. Someone, possibly Foot's Forecast itself or one of its faithfuls, will write a lascivious piece about how utterly unscrupulous I am. If that's the case, then so be it. What I just wrote sorely needed to be written.
